Good Joke...

[Jim]

A guy walks into a bar, sits down next to another guy and immediately notices the guy has a very large Bic cigarette lighter.
The first guy says "Wow, cool lighter...where did you get it?"
The guy replies "A genie from a bottle granted me one wish."
"Great, can I try it?"
"Sure."
The first guy rubs the bottle and the genie appears. "You are granted one wish" says the genie.
The guy says, "I want a million bucks!"
"Done" says the genie and disappears.
A few minutes go by and suddenly the bar door swings open and pouring in come ducks. Thousands and thousands of ducks falling all over each other through the bar door.
"I can't believe this," says the guy who had just placed his wish, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
The second guy then says, "Do you really think I wished for a 12" Bic?"

:smilielol:

[TORQUE THIS]

hummm, no comment... :smilielol:

[DOUG]

:falldownlaugh:

[95Cummins]

:smilielol: :falldownlaugh: :popc1:

[Jim]

Ahkmed the Arab came to the United States from the Middle East, and He was only here a few months when he became very ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said:

"Take dees bocket, go Into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head Down over de bocket an! D breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."

Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the Bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten Minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked. I feel terrific! What Was wrong with me?"

The doctor said, "You were homesick!"

:exactly:

[DOUG]

Ahkmed the Arab came to the United States from the Middle East, and He was only here a few months when he became very ill.

He went to doctor after doctor, but none of them could help him.
Finally, he went to an Arab doctor who said:

"Take dees bocket, go Into de odder room, poop in de bocket, pee on de poop, and den put your head Down over de bocket an! D breathe in de fumes for ten minutes."

Ahkmed took the bucket, went into the other room, pooped in the Bucket, peed on the poop, bent over and breathed in the fumes for ten Minutes.
Coming back to the doctor he said, "It worked. I feel terrific! What Was wrong with me?"

The doctor said, "You were homesick!"

:exactly:

:smilielol: :falldownlaugh:

[BelgianMagic]

Ahkmed the Arab came to the United States

The doctor said, "You were homesick!"



:moosepoop::ThrowUp::ShizenWinder::dontgetit:

[PToombs]

:moosepoop::ThrowUp::dontgetit:

It's a craphole over there! :exactly:

[DOUG]

It's a craphole over there! :exactly:

Well, he does live on a farm....

[BelgianMagic]

Well, he does live on a farm....:woohoo::smilielol::smokin:WOULD NOT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY...:coorslight:

[Jim]

· * I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.


· * Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.


· * Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.


· * The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.


· * To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


· * When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.


· * A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


· * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.


· * Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.


· * We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.


· * When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.


· * The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.


· * The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.


· * The dead batteries were given out free of charge.


· * If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.


· * A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.


· * A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.


· * The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself.


· * Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.


· * A backward poet writes inverse.


· * In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.


· * A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.


· * With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.


· * Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.


· * When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


· * The guy who fell into an upholstery machine was fully recovered.


· * A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.


· * You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


· * He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.


· * A boiled egg is hard to beat.


· * He had a photographic memory which was never developed.


· * His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a blooming idiot.


· * A plateau is a high form of flattery.


· * Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.


· * When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


· * When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.


· * Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.


· * Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

[PToombs]

:Signal73:

[PToombs]

Well, he does live on a farm....

I didn't mean on the farm! In Iraqistan! :Paully6:

[sooter]

·
· * A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.



how the hell does that happen?

[HomeBeerBrewer]

What do you call a monkey that lost his right arm?


Lefty


Where do you get Lefty a birthday present?


At a second hand store.

[HomeBeerBrewer]

Investment tips for 2007. For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2007.

1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2.) PolygramRecords, Warner Bros., and ZestaCrackers join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.

3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.

4. ZippoManufacturing, AudiMotors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa .

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become:
FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become:
Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:
Knott NOW!

And finally ....

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBang Bang

[HomeBeerBrewer]

MY RESUME

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn' hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef, figured it would add a little s p i c e to my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it I couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work! , I finally got a job as Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

[HomeBeerBrewer]

I tried editing the above post to correct the word ....e (in #5), but it keeps coming back as ...e. why doesn't it like the word ....e?

[Big John]

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge under the new name:
TittyTittyBang Bang
:falldownlaugh: :falldownlaugh:

[TORQUE THIS]

hmmm, I guess the word is "....e" ?

s p i c e must be a forbidden word...

[PToombs]

Somebody call the Dynodude and set up some jobs for him. He's obviously bored and it's starting to show! :smilielol:

[Jim]

hmmm, I guess the word is "....e" ?

s p i c e must be a forbidden word...
or just the first 4 letters of it if you catch my drift...

[dieselnomad]

wtf? So, i can't say that after a day of cleaning my truck bed, sanding it, then por-15'ing it is ....-n-span? :smilielol:

[HomeBeerBrewer]

Somebody call the Dynodude and set up some jobs for him. He's obviously bored and it's starting to show! :smilielol:

:falldownlaugh: :exactly:

[PToombs]

wtf? So, i can't say that after a day of cleaning my truck bed, sanding it, then por-15'ing it is ....-n-span? :smilielol:

No. You can only say that if you cleaned it with ....-n-Span! :Paully6: :smilielol:

[dieselnomad]

No. You can only say that if you cleaned it with ....-n-Span! :Paully6: :smilielol:

:falldownlaugh:... good one, YOU R Right :smilielol:

From what I did, I can only say, "good job hillbilly" :D

[PToombs]

:falldownlaugh:... good one, YOU R Right :smilielol:

From what I did, I can only say, "good job hillbilly" :D

That's still better than "masshole!" :falldownlaugh:

[dieselnomad]

:falldownlaugh:
That's a good one. You are the 2nd person to call me that here. Between that and the guy who runs his mouth about 12-valves I have my reputation set.

I had never heard of the term masshole before my first day of training going into military school. Drill sarg asked me, "why did you come here". I replied, "cause I want to excel". HE and TWO others replied, "AT WHAT, WACKING IT YOU MASSHOLE?!?!" :smilielol:
It was a bit shocking for a half asleep 18 yr old I must say...

I'm more hillbilly now than masshole though... ;-)

[dieselnomad]

OK OK, so I realize I have bad etiquette, Here's a joke, I'll tell it in parts, kinda riddle...


Knock Knock...?

[HomeBeerBrewer]

Ok, I'll bite...

Who's there?

[BelgianMagic]

how do you keep a blond in suspense ?????:idea::Signal73:

[dieselnomad]

Ok, I'll bite...

Who's there?

gunngedin..............

[PToombs]

gunngedin..............

gunngedin who?

[PToombs]

That's a good one. You are the 2nd person to call me that here. Between that and the guy who runs his mouth about 12-valves I have my reputation set.

I had never heard of the term masshole before my first day of training going into military school. Drill sarg asked me, "why did you come here". I replied, "cause I want to excel". HE and TWO others replied, "AT WHAT, WACKING IT YOU MASSHOLE?!?!" :smilielol:
It was a bit shocking for a half asleep 18 yr old I must say...

I'm more hillbilly now than masshole though... ;-)

I wasn't calling you one, I said better than. That term just cracks me up! :falldownlaugh: It's one of those things that every time you see it you start laughing, I can't help it. :dunno: I never heard it til a few weeks ago myself.

[Jim]

:falldownlaugh:
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the
Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to
check on him .

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door
locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the
nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now. "

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and
the Future is in deep sh*t."

[dieselnomad]

Too Funny.:exactly:

[Jim]

Bill and Tom are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill. One day Bill slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Tom quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill to the local hospital.
Next day, Tom goes to the hospital and asks after Bill. The nurse says, 'Oh he's out in Rehab exercising'. Tom couldn't believe it, but here's Bill out the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
Couple of days go by, and then Bill slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw thing. So Tom puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Bill off to hospital.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is.
The nurse replies, 'He's out in the Rehab again exercising. And sure enough, here's Bill out there doing some serious work on the treadmill.
And Bill comes back to work.
But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Tom puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Bill to hospital.
Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Bill is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, 'He's dead.'
Tom is shocked, but not surprised. 'I suppose the saw finally did him in.'
'No,' says the nurse, 'Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.'

[PToombs]

Good one! :woohoo: Sounds like some of the Derby crew! :HoleShotHolset:

[DOUG]

:smilielol: :falldownlaugh:

[Jim]

In the gents room

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"

I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine!"

And the other person says: "So what are you up to?"

What kind of question is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so I say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just traveling!"

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. "Can I come over?"

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them "No.......I'm a little busy right now!!!"

Then I hear the person say nervously... "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions! :smilielol:

[DOUG]

:smilielol: :falldownlaugh:

[Jim]

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning, the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys in side and had to break a window to get my keys. "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire." "When I finally got to the store, a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people.
All the time, the darn phone was ringing of f the hook." He continued, "Then, I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels, and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer.
And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her.

:falldownlaugh:

[Warpig]

:thumbdown::thumbdown:

[Jim]

:thumbdown::thumbdown:

:dunno: didnt do it for ya timmay?

[TORQUE THIS]

:smilielol:

Do you know the difference between a rectal and an oral thermometer?


































The Taste... :professor: :falldownlaugh:

[PToombs]

Hey Mark? You're supposed to wash it between uses! :nutkick:
:falldownlaugh: :smilielol:

[HomeBeerBrewer]

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a cheesecake," said the second piggy.

"I want beer, lots and lots of beer," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "But why have you only ordered beer all evening?"

The third piggy says -

"Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

[TORQUE THIS]

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES
He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES
Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, 'What may we do for you my son?'
He answers, 'I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business....'
'Very well my son. Please follow me.' He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, 'Please knock on this door.'
He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, 'Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.' He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him.
The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:
GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.
SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER.

[TORQUE THIS]

A woman goes into Bass Pro Shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's
birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes
over to the counter.
A Bass Pro Shop associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says,
'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'
He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She doesn't
believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, 'That's a six-foot
Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a
good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.'
She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it
dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit
card drops on the floor.
'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is
really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could
tell it was she who farted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the
only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50
please.' The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell
me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'
He replies,' Yes, Ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck call is
$11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.'

[TORQUE THIS]

The 1st Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary.
One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.
Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.
The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt
He put on his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.
"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my
secretary.
We had sex all afternoon."
She looked down at his shoes and said:
"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"


The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son.
They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.
The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.
The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son.
He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.
He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"




The 3rd Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about
to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!
"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented,
"I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity."
So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.
I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening
his briefcase.
"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!"


The 4th Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front
door.
"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby
oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I
tell you," she said, " pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I
liked it so I got one for us, too."
No more was said, not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and
returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue,
have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a
damned thing."




The 5th Affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir , that'll be one cent." "One
Cent?" the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:"How much for a nice juicy steak and a
bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this
place?"
The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his
business down here."


The 6th Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to, " his wife replied
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your
mother!"
"I know," she replied, " now just rest and let the poison
work."

[HomeBeerBrewer]

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts!"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.

When he finished it, he said "Quick, bring me another beer. It gonna start!"

This time, she looked a little angry, but brought him another beer.

When it was gone, he said "Quick, get me another beer before it starts!"

"That's it!" she said, "You bastard! You waltz in here after you get home, plop your fat ass down in that chair, don't even say hello to me, and expect me to run around like your slave getting you beer after beer. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day?

The husband sighed and said, "Damn, it started."

[BelgianMagic]

A TRUE SOUTHERN LADY................
A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River
Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she
noticed a young man fixing (ready ) to jump.

She stopped her car, rolled down the wind ow, and said: '' Please don''t
jump, think of your dear mother and father. ''


He replied: '' Mom and Dad are both dead, I''m going to jump. ''


She said: '' Well, think of your wife and children. ''

He replied: '' I''m not married and I don''t have any kids. ''


She said: '' Well, think of Robert E. Lee. ''


He replied: '''' Who''s Robert E. Lee ? ''''


She replied: '''' Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you
dumb Yankee ! '':smilielol::falldownlaugh::smilielol:

[Jim]

:falldownlaugh:

[PToombs]

A man applies for a job at the Post Office.
The interviewer asks him, 'Are you allergic to anything?' He says 'Yes - just caffeine'
'Have you ever been in the service?' 'Yes,' he says. 'I was in Iraq for two years.'
The interviewer says, 'That will give you five extra points toward employment,' and then asks, 'Are you disabled in any way?
The guy says, 'Yes 100%..an IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.'
The interviewer tells the guy, 'O.K. In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM.
You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.'
The guy is puzzled and says, 'If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, why don't you want me to be here before 10 AM?
'This is a government job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'

[TORQUE THIS]

NICE Pete! :smilielol:

[sooter]

'This is a government job,' the interviewer says. 'For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that.'

:smilielol:

i have friends that work at the portsmouth naval shipyard and they do that ALL day!